Beware of Sugar Bombs!

Posted on Wednesday, April 7th, 2010 at 9:51 am By Éjire

There is a long standing notion that only single women are greedy enough to be on the look out for “sugar daddies”. They are believed to chase after rich men to date, have a fling or two with, or to get married to. Single women, I inclusive, have also been accused of greed and despising the days of humble beginnings. We have endured lectures on how to settle for educated men with potentials instead of ready-made-men who will only regard us as pieces of furniture to be added to their ready-made-lives! They say that where a lady marries a man who is only about 50% financially secure, it guarantees the man’s love and respect for her when he finally acquires many assets and has zillions in his bank account! Paradoxically, I have observed that many single men, whom I have named “Sugar Bombs”, are more in need of the above advice… for our sakes!

I can’t help but notice that many more single men are after single women mainly for material gain. These men want to date, have a fling with, or marry well-to-do women with the hope of securing their lives / future financially. Gone are the days when able-bodied men worked hard to ensure that their wives and children are properly catered for. Nowadays, many single men date only because “she is from a wealthy family / has a well paying job”. So called business men are on the increase (and I don’t mean to undermine business men in anyway). Yes, there are many business men out there who have a passion for their work and are making an honest living. However, there are many more men hiding under the façade of doing business instead of owning up to being jobless.

This is today’s recurrent scenario: so-called businessman shows interest in single woman who has a well paying job / is from a comfortable or wealthy or influential family. Initially, he looks after her and picks the tabs at the slightest instance. He says and does everything right and she falls for it. Wouldn’t you? Gradually, he intimates her of “his work”, and tells her that he is a “little” financially strained at that moment which makes sense to her – after all, he is a business man! At this point, single woman feels obligated to finance him as often as he requests it. He promises to pay her back each time reminding her that he is soon to be paid for his previous business transactions. Alas, “soon” is a day that never comes.

The typical Sugar Bomb has really good taste. He wants to drive a 2010 car, live in a nice house, hang out at the “IT” spots… however; he doesn’t want to work for it. With the little resources that he can source, he dresses nice and looks attractive in public. This impresses Miss Single Lady who is thrilled to have a good looking man. At this point, she has forgotten that she’s footing majority of his bills… directly and indirectly.

So, she sticks with this Sugar Bomb. They get married and have kids while he continues to chase after shadows otherwise known as “so-called business transactions”. Single woman (now married) on the other hand is burdened with the responsibility of holding the family together… forever. Aside from the sole responsibility of bearing the financial burden of her growing family, she may finally come to realise that her Sugar Bomb doesn’t love her… not the way he ought to since he was only attracted to her for convenience sake – she fed him, clothed him, provided him with all he required to sustain his exuberant lifestyle and even sexed him… an offer no Sugar Bomb can refuse.

Single woman, you must be his lady and not his mother! Yes, it’s great to look after your man but please, let him pick his own tabs (at least)! Let him feed, clothe and house himself. He must be independent and financially able to hold your relationship together. Even if he doesn’t have a six-figure salary, whatever he earns must be adequate and enough to sustain the two of you otherwise he is not man enough to be in a relationship with you.

Someone once asked me – “Éjire, what about love?” Yes, love is a huge consideration but in case Mr. Lover-man doesn’t have a job at any given time, he must be seen to be trying to make ends meet realistically. I say “realistically” because increasingly, men wait around for “government contracts” and business deals worth zillions. They play this waiting game for months on end… and all in vain. If he is a university graduate, advise him to get a 9-5 job! While on the job, he can map out his business strategy and should only delve into business when all is certain that things will work out and he has resources to carry out his transactions.

If you are already in a relationship with a potential Sugar Bomb, you must re-define your relationship as a girlfriend / fiancée / wife. Note that your responsibilities include loving him, loving him more, being supportive of him (without playing the role of his mother), advising him, praying for him, and yes, picking up the tabs only when its absolutely necessary.

Photo Credits: www.feministing.com

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Sudan deports 58 Nigerians

Sudan deports 58 Nigerians

I THINK..........

I DON'T UNDERSTAND,

IS THIS LADY ADMIRING CHARLIZE THERON AND HER DRESS OR WHAT??

OUR VERY OWN AUSTRALIA*

WITHOUT A DOUBT, WE NIGERIANS HAVE A CRAZE FOR FOREIGN MADE, FROM ITALIAN LEATHERS TO FRENCH WINES, SAUDI GOLD TO SWISS FABRICS EVEN GHANA SOAP ALSO KNOWN AS OSE GHANA


THE MOST CULPABLES OF THE ABOVE ARE THE FEMALE FOLKS, ON THE OTHER HAND, WHEN TALKING SPORTS ESPECIALLY FOOTBALL, THE AVERAGE NIGERIAN MALE GOES FOREIGN

THE ENGLISH LEAGUE HAS OVER THE YEARS, TAKEN OVER FROM ITALIANS SERIA A TO BECOME THE WORLD’S MOST WATCHED AND EXPENSIVE LEAGUE.

NIGERIANS ARE NOT LEFT OUT IN THE SELECTION OF FOOTBALL CLUBS TO FOLLOW, WITH CHELSEA, MANCHESTER UNITED AND ARSENAL FOOTBALL CLUBS, GAINING MORE GROUNDS THAN OTHERS.
EVEN THE CORPORATE ORGANIZATIONS HAVE RECOGNIZED THE KEEN FOLLOWERSHIP OF THE ENGLISH FOOTBALL LEAGUE AND HAVE BEEN SIGNING AWAY MILLIONS OF NAIRA TO ENGLISH CLUBS TO PARTNER WITH THEM TO ATTRACT THE ATTENTION OF THEIR CUSTOMERS WHO ARE MOSTLY NIGERIANS.

NOW, THAT IS WHAT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH.
HOW MUCH EMPHASIS CAN BE LAID ON THE ECONOMIC EFFECT OF THESE ACTS.

IT IS APPLAUD ABLE, THE WAY MOST NIGERIANS ARE GOING AFRICAN IN THEIR WAY OF DRESSING, AND SUPPORTING THE NIGERIA FILM AND ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRIES.

I AM PATIENTLY WAITING FOR THE SEASON EVERY NIGERIAN WOULD SWITCH SIDES AND HAVE A LOCAL TEAM TO SUPPORT.

IN THE NEAR FUTURE, I WOULD LOVE TO ROOT FOR WARRI WOLVES OR SUNSHINE STARS, AND I PRAY THAT JUST AS WE HAVE EMBRACED THE ANKARA FABRIC WHOLE HEARTEDLY (OOPS! ANKARA IS OF TURKISH ORIGIN, ANYWAYS, IF ANKARA WERE MAN, HE WOULD BE HOLDING A FULL OFFICIAL NIGERIAN PASSPORT BY NOW, RIGHT??) WE WOULD EMBRACE OUR LOCAL LEAGUE.

SO WHY THE CRAZE FOR FOREIGN FOOTBALL????

FIRST, ORGANIZATION PER EXCELLENCE, FANTASTIC MEDIA COVERAGE AND HIGHLY EFFECTIVE HYPE SIMPLE!

I HEREBY CHALLENGE THOSE IN THE POSITION TO DO RIGHT, FROM THE PLAYERS, TO THE MEDIA AND THE GOVERNMENT, TO PLAY THEIR RESPECTIVE ROLES TO PROMOTE THE NIGERIA FOOTBALL SCENE

I PRAY SOON, THE NIGERIA LEAGUE WOULD BE WORTH FOLLOWING AND EARN A GOOD FAN BASE AS THEIR FOREIGN COUNTERPART.

DID I HEAR AN AMEN???


* AUSTRALIA IS A COUNTRY EVERY ONE KNOWS BUT DOES NOT GO OR PAY MUCH ATTENTION TO. IN THIS CONTEXT THE NIGERIA FOOTBALL LEAGUE IS LIKENED TO AUSTRALIA, AS EVERY ONE KNOWS WE HAVE A FOOTBALL LEAGUE BUT PAYS NO ATTENTION.

What Do We Expect Of This Woman???

I will avenge my 7 children — Woman who lost all


From JAMES OJO and AARON OSSAI, Abuja

Sunday, March 14, 2010





•Priscilla Sunday

Photo: Sun News Publishing

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Their stories are like lines from a horror movie. They bring tears to eyes, leave your heart bleeding. They are tales of sorrow by the widows of the last sectarian killings, tales of how their children and husbands were butchered in their in Dogo Nahawa, a village near Jos. With pain dripping from the dirge they sang, the bereaved women virtually brought the National Assembly to its knees as people shed uncontrollable tears. The gate of the complex had been flung open to hundreds of women protesting last week’s genocide in the Plateau state capital.



The atmosphere in front of the National Assembly building popularly known as White House was somber, as the shrill voices of women clad in black, with green leaves on their heads pierced through the early morning weather with melodious but sorrowful songs.



They were the voices of the women from Plateau State who had come to National Assembly to protest the dawn massacre on March 7 of women and children in Dogo Nahawa a remote area in Jos South Local Government Area of Plateau State.

As they sang, displaying gory pictures of slaughtered women and children, tears flowed freely from eyes of both the protesters, the on- lookers and even female security agents sent to ensure orderliness of the protest. Journalists were not left out. They forgot for a while their midgets and notepads.



Like a sore thumb in the midst of the women numbering over 600 stood this woman of about five feet tall who was dressed in green and black instead of the complete back that others wore.

She just stood there neither crying nor singing, but sweating heavily when Sunday Sun approached her to know why she was not dressed in full black like others and why she was not singing too.

She muttered in a low voice that her name was Priscilla Sunday and counted seven of her fingers. One of the women apparently watching over her whispered that Priscilla lost seven children in addition to other relations in the massacre.



Spurred to share her experience in the pogrom, the 35-year-old Priscilla said that it was in her presence that some of her children were slaughtered by the rampaging Fulani herdsmen, who invaded her home in the early morning of the black Sunday. By the time the herdsmen retreated to their evil holes and the dust cleared, she lamented that seven of her children had been wasted.



“ I cannot describe what I saw with my eyes. My children’s heads were cut open with cutlass, their brains spilled on the ground and arrows cutting through their bodies. Why, what have we done?” She asked and burst into tears.

To her, the security agents in Plateau State had failed the people they were sent to protect. She was so bitter about it that she suggested that all soldiers, all policemen should leave Plateau because according to her, their presence had not done the people of the state any good.



She also suggested that since the security agents could no longer guarantee their safety, they should leave and allow the warring factions to confront each other in a fight, which according to her, would determine who remains in Jos. “Let us fight so that which ever side wins would remain in Jos. I want to avenge the death of my children”, she declared.



Narrating how the villagers were caught napping by the invaders, she said, “We were sleeping when suddenly we were woken up by sounds of gun shots and people shouting. We did not even know where they came from. These men trooped into our houses and started attacking us with dangerous weapons like guns, cutlasses and clubs.

“It was unfortunate that the children could not run as fast as the elders. Even toddlers were not spared. What is all this about? I watched them kill my seven children and others within the compound and there was nothing I or any other person could do.“ As these things were happening, no security agent was in sight. Neither policemen nor soldiers came to our rescue.



We are asking government for adequate security so that we can live peacefully in Plateau. However, if they can no longer guarantee our safety, security agents should give way and allow us to fight so that who ever wins should stay in Jos. If they defeat us, let them remain in Jos and if we defeat them, they should be prepared to also leave Jos.

“ As it is now, we do not see any reason why any security agent should remain in Jos. If they cannot assist us, they should leave. We are not going to fight them with dangerous weapons like gun, cutlasses, clubs or charms. God that we serve will definitely fight for us.



“We know that God is seeing all that we are doing. If they say they do not want us in Jos, where do they want us to go? I know that if we engage them in an open fight, our God will give us victory over them,” she stated.

Another Victim, Mrs. Debora Lanbe Danjuma, 27, recounted her experience thus:

“I am a mother of a four-year-old who was hacked to death in my presence for reasons I don’t know. As you can see, I am seven-months pregnant.



On that fateful Sunday, we were on our way to the Church with my son and my late husband. We were in front of our house and I remember I forgot my handset and my husband went back inside to bring it. Suddenly we heard our neighbour shout. We saw a young man running towards us with wound shouting Madam, Madam run they are coming. I could not move fast with the pregnancy and drag the boy along. I was trying to run when one of them just came and collected the boy from me. Before I knew what was happening, before my own eyes I watched them slaughter my son.



“As my husband was coming out to join us, somebody just shot him in the head and spilled his blood and brain on me. This is how I became a widow.” she managed to narrate before tears started to roll out from her cheeks.

On how she managed to escape from the marauders, she said she would be lying if she said she knew how she escaped.

“Only God can explain how I escaped. God can explain how I was not killed. The truth is that I don’t know how I managed to escape, if I tell you how I escaped, I would be lying,” Deborah confessed.

Mrs. Lare Onu, who led the widows to the National Assembly captured the mood of the women and other victims of the last violence in Jos in her speech to the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Dimeji Bankole, after he personally came out to welcome and identify with the mourners.



“We are here this morning because of what is happening in Plateau state. Innocent villagers were killed with children that were one month and two months old. They were all slaughtered like animals. Some of these villagers do not even know where Jos is. So why are you killing them? They went to the remotest area of Jos to kill people.

“The question is what were the security men doing. The solders were there, they were called and they did not come. This thing started around 10’o clock and they did not come until 5 in the morning. The Federal Government, the state government and the elders in Plateau have not told the truth about what is happening in Jos.

“We are talking about indigenes or no indigenes here, let us leave religion out of it. Are there not Yorubas and Igbos in Plateau, why are they not fighting, why is it only the Hausa people that are fighting?



“What we know is that there are people behind these things and they are not telling us the truth. The problem is that when our people want to retaliate, they will say stop. We are saying enough, enough and enough of these things”.

The full message of Bankole was delivered by the House Leader, Tunde Akogun, who assured them that government will surely put an end to incessant killings in Jos or anywhere in the country.



Hon Bitrus Kase representing Jos South federal constituency in the House admonished the wounded women not to contemplate a reprisal, but allow God to fight for them. He urged them to fast and pray for God to rise on their behalf.

WHAT DO WE EXPECT OF THIS WOMAN